Sixth week brought us the flavorful theme of Tunisian cuisine at LDC. As a joint venture between Bon Appetit, the Classics Department and Middle East Studies, meals included a lunch inspired by a traditional Tunisian wedding and food of ancient Carthage. Found on our plates were new items such as wheat porridge with olives or Tunisian fricassee tuna sandwiches. It was a time of adventure which provoked much buzz among the students at the lunch tables. This is not the first themed food week brought to us by a Bon App-Academic Department partnership: some may remember last year’s week inspired by meals from the Odyssey, and based on recent developments, it is far from the last.
Our insider SDAs have brought us intel of a recent publicity scheme among the STEM departments. According to our sources — which will remain anonymous to prevent risk of endangerment to their GPAs and rec letter holdings — department heads feel that the humanities departments have held a monopoly on themed food weeks for far too long and they intend to do something about it. The computer science, biology and astronomy departments have decided to take a stand and carve out their own spot on the Bon App menu. Below are sneak-peeks into their menu suggestions.
Computer Science: the Matrix. There’s no denying Neo was a great coder. He not only typed really fast, but he learned how to control the very code within himself. To achieve such status, one must not just observe the greats, but also become them. The first step in doing this, after signing up for a comp sci class of course, is with your diet. In lieu of handing out random color coded drugs, the dessert table will consist of red and blue Mike and Ikes. As for the rest of the stations? They will all serve the same meal: protein-rich porridge or “mush.” Hey, no one said it was going to be easy. This meal is made up of a single-celled protein, vitamin, mineral and amino acid colloid and is the main nutritional resource in the “real world.” You can stay in the Matrix and eat your food that all ‘tastes like chicken,’ but the coders will rise above on a tidal wave of porridge.
Biology: The Magic School Bus Goes Cellular (Season 4, Episode 6). Inspired by the magnificent Ms. Frizzle, the biology department harkens back to a childhood favorite to inspire their menu. In this cartoon, the crew explores the human body from the inside out and the biology department intends to do the same. No, humans will not be on the menu. Apparently that’s against Carleton policy?? Jelly-mold brains, “intestines” that are truly just spaghetti, ladyfingers (again, the biscuit, not fingers from ladies), and more food puns than you thought were out there — ears (of corn), hearts (of palm), blood (oranges) — are, however, all Bon App approved. Additionally, all the utensils will be replaced with tools such as pipettes, forceps and probes. The biology department encourages you to remember, as Ms. Frizzle always says, “take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!”
Astronomy: Astronaut diet. Ever wondered what it would be like to travel to the moon? Propelled among the stars, their glow reaching you over an unimaginable distance through time and space. No late night essay writing, no 1a classes, no gravity — but also no cafeteria. The astronomy department invites the student body on an interstellar journey, but not by way of a rocket: rather, it will be a culinary adventure. (Rocket launches didn’t make it into this year’s budget, unfortunately.) We’ve made some advancements from the puree meals pioneering astronauts ate, but get ready to wrestle open your fair share of vacuum-sealed snacks. Salt and pepper will only be available in liquid form (we can’t have it floating away and clogging the air ducts in our anti-gravity environment, now can we?). Fresh fruits and vegetables will be a rarity this week, but, for future Carls, the promise of lettuce grown in space could ensure the salad bar stays open.
As always, bon appétit!