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Interview with the Anderson light fixture

Light fixtures have long been the bastions of the vast indoors, however, unlike the Sun and Moon, the patrons of the outdoors, they have long gone unappreciated and unnoticed. 

While the Sun and Moon shine a light on the inconvenient, uncomfortable, and frankly unwanted wilderness beyond the luxuries of the indoors, the light fixture has been the silent soldier standing guard against the shadows of the indoors during the reign of the Sun and the primal darkness during the rule of the Moon.

In recognizing such an oversight, the Carletonian, in its ardent wish to honor all heroes, sought to acquire the exclusive of the century through an interview with one of these everyday and everynight—but unappreciated—heroes.

After a long and arduous search, a light fixture willing to break their oath of silence to finally get the appreciation it deserved was found within the Anderson Atrium. 

“Finally,” the light fixture, who introduced himself as C1043, exclaimed, when asked how it felt to finally be asked to speak. “You know how long we’ve been waiting for this?

“It feels like our voices are being heard for the first time,” he sobbed as he continued, “even vacuums get their due, and they’ll suck anything. The fact that it’s taken this long for people to realize that we deserve some love, too, makes me question which one of us is lacking a brain.”

C1043 visibly flickered in anger when questioned on the light-fixtures’ value to society. 

“Look around you,” he directed, “we’re everywhere! Without us, this place would be a cesspool of shadows during the day, and unnavigable during the night. Forget about being able to study in comfort without straining eyes, you probably wouldn’t be able to take a single step without tripping over your two extended bolts if we weren’t around.”

Calming down, C1043 noted that “with how much time humans spend indoors, you’d think you’d be more appreciative of what allows you the privilege.”

“Without us,” he continued, “where would you be? Maybe still indoors, but without us, you wouldn’t be able to get anything done indoors. Could you imagine how damaging that would be? Especially to students?”

“Students love the luxuries of the insides, especially the light we offer, so they can get their coursework done. Without us, they’d never get anything done. When would they? During the day? Everyone knows students don’t work during the day, and they certainly wouldn’t be able to at night! Our work schedule is proof of that, nearly 24/7 with no holidays or days off normally, but definitely 24/7 with no exceptions during the cold seasons, like now. I haven’t slept in nearly three months. If after all our hard work we still can’t get some appreciation, we might have to STRIKE!” C1043 finished.

With the time spent indoors by students increasing and the increasing burden placed on light fixtures, as well as their role in creating a comfortable and productive space, it becomes clear that we should properly thank the light fixtures in our lives, or we might have to learn to live without them and god-forbid complete our coursework during the day.

As temperatures continue to drop in Minnesota, students are spending more and more time indoors, which has led to the increased stress upon the world’s, specifically, the indoor world’s, unsung hero: the light fixture. 

Light fixtures have long been the bastions of the vast indoors, however, unlike the Sun and Moon, the patrons of the outdoors, they have long gone unappreciated and unnoticed. 

While the Sun and Moon shine a light on the inconvenient, uncomfortable, and frankly unwanted wilderness beyond the luxuries of the indoors, the light fixture has been the silent soldier standing guard against the shadows of the indoors during the reign of the Sun and the primal darkness during the rule of the Moon.

In recognizing such an oversight, the Carletonian, in its ardent wish to honor all heroes, sought to acquire the exclusive of the century through an interview with one of these everyday and everynight—but unappreciated—heroes.

After a long and arduous search, a light fixture willing to break their oath of silence to finally get the appreciation it deserved was found within the Anderson Atrium. 

“Finally,” the light fixture, who introduced himself as C1043, exclaimed, when asked how it felt to finally be asked to speak. “You know how long we’ve been waiting for this?

“It feels like our voices are being heard for the first time,” he sobbed as he continued, “even vacuums get their due, and they’ll suck anything. The fact that it’s taken this long for people to realize that we deserve some love, too, makes me question which one of us is lacking a brain.”

C1043 visibly flickered in anger when questioned on the light-fixtures’ value to society. 

“Look around you,” he directed, “we’re everywhere! Without us, this place would be a cesspool of shadows during the day, and unnavigable during the night. Forget about being able to study in comfort without straining eyes, you probably wouldn’t be able to take a single step without tripping over your two extended bolts if we weren’t around.”

Calming down, C1043 noted that “with how much time humans spend indoors, you’d think you’d be more appreciative of what allows you the privilege.”

“Without us,” he continued, “where would you be? Maybe still indoors, but without us, you wouldn’t be able to get anything done indoors. Could you imagine how damaging that would be? Especially to students?”

“Students love the luxuries of the insides, especially the light we offer, so they can get their coursework done. Without us, they’d never get anything done. When would they? During the day? Everyone knows students don’t work during the day, and they certainly wouldn’t be able to at night! Our work schedule is proof of that, nearly 24/7 with no holidays or days off normally, but definitely 24/7 with no exceptions during the cold seasons, like now. I haven’t slept in nearly three months. If after all our hard work we still can’t get some appreciation, we might have to STRIKE!” C1043 finished.

With the time spent indoors by students increasing and the increasing burden placed on light fixtures, as well as their role in creating a comfortable and productive space, it becomes clear that we should properly thank the light fixtures in our lives, or we might have to learn to live without them and god-forbid complete our coursework during the day.

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