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In defense of wearing nothing but sweats

Trends come and go with the wind, but there is one fashion staple that will always fit well and make you look put-together: Sweats. While they obviously make your muscles look bigger and your secondary/primary sex organs look extremely appealing, there are much more benefits.

The main benefit is that they hold up well. When God created these garments he/she specifically created them not to tear or get shoddy. Washing machines are no match for divine fabric.

One thing that can’t be ignored is the comfort. People can say whatever they want, but they don’t know how comfortable it truly is. Can you say the same skinny-jeans wearers? Blood flows freely through all veins that lie comfortably below french terry cloth and nike tech fleece.

A sense of security is another upside. Many people will worry about what people think of what they wear, and try to fit in by following trends only to be 2 months behind. Sweats wearers don’t need that; winning personalities are the only things required for the enlightened sweats wearers. This thought would be incomplete without asserting that people obviously catch on to this.

The environment thanks the sweats wearer. A consequence of the ebb and flow of the trends is the waste it creates. People are just now becoming aware of the environmental impact of fashion, especially “fast fashion.” Sweats don’t get thrown away, they are worn for much longer than 6 months, and sweats are probably biodegradable.

The sweatpants wearers are the people that make the world keep turning. They’re the people that wake up and go. The frivolous waste valuable time each morning deciding what to wear, checking the weather and worrying over other peoples’ opinions, all the while death marches ever closer. In cool weather they insulate, in warm weather they allow the air to flow.

While there are only a chosen few who engage in this lifestyle, the tide rises. The ‘Athleisure’ trend is a step in the right direction. But sweats-wearers don’t seek praise, they are a humble people, who do not seek to convert, but allow those on the right path to seek them out. The sun never sets on those wearing sweats.

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