For all my female-identifying peeps, the balmy weather induced by climate change was not the only hot thing happening this summer! Perhaps you noticed this trend, which involved a lot of Lizzo and bold uses of mom jeans and snake print. This summer, aptly titled “Hot Girl Summer,” will go down in history as glorious. Whether you hooked up with your Tinder match or got a tattoo, this summer was sexy, spicy, and now sadly over. This begs the question: how do we move on from the best three months of our lives? The internet has come up with the answer of Christian Girl Autumn. I dislike this concept for many reasons, so I refuse to use this terminology and am making my own (obviously better) version.
Allow me to pitch Professional Girl Fall. Remember all those trashy things you did this summer? Well, say goodbye to whatever demon possessed you to wear assless chaps and say hello to a more polished, refined version of yourself. You should notice as the temperatures drop, you’ll be reaching for a blazer instead of your “Thrasher” hoodie. In lew of calling your friend “my hoe,” you may opt for a more subtle nominor like “Sarah.” Note that some symptoms of Professional Girl Fall include: being assertive, asking for equal pay, and not tolerating any fools. While we all grieve the loss of Hot Girl Summer, let us embrace the changing seasons and turn a new leaf. Let’s exit this summer with grace and collectively say a final “byeeeeee.”