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Five acts of self-care that still won’t save your mental health during finals

1. Throw a bath bomb into a dorm shower. It won’t work, but it’ll look pretty and smell nice. Maybe your toes will feel luxurious, and that’s worth it. Bonus points if it’s a strange color so that the next person who uses the shower will think a unicorn threw up.

2. Paint your nails, but immediately bite off the paint because of your nerves and undiagnosed anxiety. Try some nice pastel colors because they are soothing. Just enjoy them before they become short, ragged stubs.

3. Take a walk in the arb and look at nature, but feel guilty the entire time because you’re not doing work. Look at flowers, somehow they’ll remind you about your final paper in Econ about price theory. How does that even work? I don’t know.

4. Make a homemade facemask out of ingredients from the dining hall: Recipe: 2 scoops of oatmeal, half a banana, 2 tbsp of honey, 2tbs plain yogurt, and some salt for exfoliation. Insider tip: Just make sure to be sneaky about it so Cathy doesn’t yell at you and ruin the relaxing vibe. Worrying causes wrinkles.

5. Finally, watch Tidying Up With Marie Kondo on Netflix. You’ll suddenly feel gross about sitting in ten weeks worth of garbage. The voice back in the back of your head will remind you that you will soon have to pack said garbage into a 50lb suitcase. Start picking up objects and ask if they spark joy. If it doesn’t, put it on Free & For Sale at Carleton.

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