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What your major says about you: horoscope edition

Art History
You will find yourself at a museum this week, and despite being an Art History major, a friend will ask you about a painting and having no idea, you’ll make something up. With Uranus in the Moon, you’ll hone in on your BS-ing and finessing skills this week.

Biology
It’s all about feeling alive for you this week, but with everyone staring at you, remember to act natural. As you feel livelihood pulsing through your veins, you may begin to question being pre-med. That’s okay, with Mercury rising you may feel pressure, including with your REU applications.

Chemistry
This is your week for romance, chem kids. With the current Venus-Pluto alignment, now is the time to open yourself up to new chemical possibilities. Think about your reactions, and the chemistry between you and your crush will build organically. Remember, you have only a quantum of passion.

CAMS
Kick back, take a breather, and take some time to yourself this week with socialist-realism Soviet films. With Jupiter in retrograde, now is a good time to apply your passion to the connections between the portrayal of sunlight and communism.


Computer Science
With the moon in Leo take some time this week to look up from your computer screen. Explore the outdoors for brief moments, and when you do, be sure to post photos of it on all channels of social media so everyone knows you for your true self.

Econ
Finances take center stage this week. Make wise decisions that screw over everyone else but makes you lots of money. With Saturn in the Sun now is a time to think only about yourself and ignore the voices of other people in your classes.

English
With a Uranus-Neptune alignment this week, you may feel like you’re losing your mind. You won’t finish any readings for this week, you’ll likely hear Arnab’s “Helloooooo” echoing in your mind. Black coffee and a black turtleneck are mandatory.

Geology
With Mars in Mercury, this is your week for spiritual awakenings. Licking a rock will take you to a new dimension, something you never could have imagined. Share these moments with your geo friends; they are the only ones who understand your rock-licking endeavors.

Math
This week is about crunching numbers and proving yourself to those around you. You do have a personality, you do have a life beyond numbers and symbols floating on a piece of paper– don’t forget that your life has meaning.

Philosophy
Saturn is in retrograde means nothing is certain for you this week. You may begin to question those around you, overwhelmed by a feeling to dropout of school and become an alpaca herder in Peru. Follow your instincts.

Political Science
With Mercury and Uranus in a square, you need to take some time to think about yourself. Really think about yourself, look yourself in the eyes, stroke your own hair. Your alleged knowledge of current events will only take you so far when asked about campaign finance.

Psychology
Your friends need you this week, psych majors. You may begin to recognize some troubling behavioral patterns in some of your friends. Take the time to diagnose them, as an expert. Really let them know what’s wrong with them, dive in, don’t spare any details or issues.

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