Last weekend, campus was bustling as students and parents reunited again. Many remarked that it was the best parent’s weekend in recent history, with its success attributed to a new schedule of events designed to more accurately give parents a sense of their student’s life here at Carleton. New events included:
Father-Daughter Cowling Dance: An instant parent’s weekend classic.
I Heart Female Orgasm: Why should you be the only one to benefit from your liberal arts education? Many students brought their parents to I Heart Female Orgasm and watched their faces change as they learned something new to try at home.
Netflix and Chili: A social mixer for parents. Students enjoyed a night to themselves as their parents enjoyed a bowl of chili and the best of Netflix. Attendants remarked that the title of the event was “Sort of a weird use of pop culture terminology.”
Shots with Stevie P: On Saturday morning, parents could be found drinking to the health of their children with none other than everyone’s favorite president. Drinks were immediately followed by a P-Word Tour of Carleton.
SWA Condom Cart Rides: A big hit with younger siblings, sponsored by the SWA program.
Weekly Convocation: Friday’s speaker was H. Eli Copter, the author or co-author of 7 books including the ten-million copy Hovering: How Your Over-Involvement Is Ruining Your Child. She has received many notable awards for her work on harmful parenting and is currently working on re-connecting with her daughter.
T-Pain Live Band Karaoke*: Students re-lived Spring Concert and listened to their parents belt out hits like I’m in Love with a Stripper, Buy You a Drank, and many more! *Live band was not T-Pain himself.
Family Friendly Streak Festival: It was basically just regular streaking, but with Kidz Bop playing in the background with a barbeque to follow. An estimated 40% of students on the meal plan forgot to opt-out and had to go outside to eat, to the horror of many.
Organizers considered the weekend a huge success and report that they plan on continuing with similar events in the future. Parents also reported high levels of contentment, saying that they, “Really liked that apple bottom jean guy,” and “Where’s P-Steve? I need to say goodbye.”